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In Agreement On Your Divorce Settlement? Probably Not!

This entry was posted in Blog Divorce Mediation on by

Clients usually think that their divorce settlement is going to be somewhat easy. They expect themselves and their spouses to be rational, reasonable, and fair. They know that most divorce settlements  end up in quarreling, mean-spiritedness, and bitterness .

However, they genuinely feel that their divorce settlement will be the exception. They tell me that they are in agreement on “everything” so the divorce process should be easy, not take much of my time, and the cost should be minimal.

10 Questions to Ask When You Think You Are In Agreement

  1. How about the home? Who keeps the home or do we sell it and which realtor is used?
  2. If selling, what is the plan if the house does not sell before the divorce is final?
  3. If the divorce settlement calls  for one spouse to retain (more…)

Bob’s Story

This entry was posted in Blog Business Consulting and tagged business consulting on by

Business Consulting
A vignette

Roofing Company Has Flood of Problems

Today was an interesting day. I was called by Bob, my client, late yesterday with an urgent “We need to get together quick!” So I went to see him this morning only to find that with the huge rain we have had, his shop floor was six inches deep in water.

When I arrived, all hands were sweeping water out and he had a large mop in his hand.

Bob’s Story:

After things settled down a tad, we found a cup of coffee and he began to tell me of his urgent concern. Harold, one of his corporate stock holders and colleagues in the roofing industry had announced to him that he was about to declare bankruptcy both in his own company and personally.

Bob’s obvious fear was that some creditor in the bankruptcy might end up with Harold’s stock in Bob’s company.

What to do:

First, we set about , Please read on

When Do I Need a Lawyer ?

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged communication compromise disagreements divorce lawsuit lawyer mediation settlement on by

Having done over 1500 mediations, I have had the privilege of working with hundreds of lawyers. With few exceptions I have found them to be men and women of integrity, well intentioned and skillful.

Hiring a lawyer, which I personally have done many times, is sometimes the smartest thing one can do, in a given situation. Let’s take a look at what lawyers are trained to do, how they think, and when their skills can best be utilized.

Combat Specialists

Lawyers work in an atmosphere of combat. They are perceived and act as surrogate champions. That is, they are hired to stand in for a client who does not have the experience, knowledge & skill to stand up to a legal onslaught.

Lawyers talk in terms of death and winner – take – all.

Here are examples of the language that I hear from them. “I killed him in that trial. I am going to wipe her out on the witness stand. I murdered him in front of the judge.”

Parties Are Usually Mad

When people get into a lawsuit, they almost always get mad. They are angry at the perceived wrongs of the other party or they are mad at being attacked and fearful of what losing in the strange world of the court system may cost them.

Add to that the element of greed that sometimes comes into play (suing big Insurance Companies & hospitals for example) and we occasionally (more…)